90min’s Definitive European Power Rankings: Week 3

My nice dad says this plugin is smart!

Hey baby, I hear the Power Rankings a-callin’,
It’s the best football teams in all of Europe.
Oh My,
And maybe you’ll be annoyed by the rankings,
Yeah maybe, but I don’t even care!
Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!
But I don’t know what to do with those teams in Europe’s top leagues and 90min’s Definitive European Power Rankings.
They’re callin’ again.
90min’s Definitive European Power Rankings all over my face.
What is a boy to do…
Jack and Wilf have left the building.

Following a week in which: 
– Serie A started with a BANG.
– Lucas Digne scored a BANGING free-kick.
– And Pusha T dropped a track with Lauryn Hill that BANGED. 
We add the greatest sitcom in the history of the world – Frasier – to the ever-expanding DEPR universe, and rank the best teams in Europe using quotes from season four:

15) Atalanta (New Entry) 

Mario Carlini / Iguana Press/GettyImages

“Well I think hugging is very healthy. I read somewhere that if you have physical contact on a regular basis, it can actually extend your life.”

“Well, in that case you should outlive Styrofoam.” 

Everybody loves Atalanta. 
They’re hipster’s choice, the neutral’s favourite, the underdogs every man, woman, child, cat, dog is rooting for in this season’s UEFA Champions League. 
And for good reason.
As their enthralling 3-2 win over SPAL exemplified, the Bergamo side are one of the most exciting teams to watch in Europe. They’re box office, baybee. 
14) Porto (New Entry)

PATRICIA DE MELO MOREIRA/GettyImages

“As we speak, hordes of viral Visigoths are hurling themselves over the battlements of my immune system, laying waste to my…oh, dear God, you see how weak I am? I can’t even finish a simple Visigoth metaphor.” 

After their opening day defeat to newly promoted Gil Vicente (who are they? Exactly!), not many people backed Porto to genuinely challenge Benfica for the Primeira Liga title. 
Then out of absolutely nowhere, Porto beat Benfica 1-0. 
Now, Porto are probably the favourites to win the league. Now, Porto have found their way into 90min’s Definitive European Power Rankings. Now, we’d even back Porto to finish a simple Visigoth metaphor:
Hordes of Porto Visigoths are hurling themselves over the battlements of Primeira Liga defences, laying waste to every other team in Portugal. 
Easy work. 
13) VfL Wolfsburg (-)

Matthias

This is the clever addon ever%sentence_ending

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